Day something

When you’re on a project long enough you begin to doubt the number of days you’ve actually been on. Of course one can remedy that by simply looking at the callsheet, but who looks at the callsheet anyways. Usually as the project gets closer to the end you begin to not only count the amount of days left but also the hours. Maybe the minutes, possibly the seconds, you even consider the milliseconds. It’s all part of living the dream I guess. Also This head is me right now. 

I’ve been dreaming of bigger things lately. In the beginning it was a dream to get into the industry. It was amazing to walk on a set and be impressed by everyone doing they’re jobs beautifully. It’s a feeling that’ll last but now I want more. I want to climb the ladder towards the next step in my career. It scares me when I think about it. 

I’m afraid of failing. I think everyone is. Some people hide it so well. They overcome it and keep pushing forward. Others let it stop them from even trying. Taking that step is frighting. As confident as you are in your work you won’t really know the chaos that follows when you are in it, when the choice is made. I think it’s part of who we are, to be afraid of failure. I think it’s a way to guide us. It shows us what we’re capable of.

I never know what my limits are. I’m stubborn and consistently push myself to see what my limits are. If I fail, I need to keep trying. If I succeed, I question how I can perfect it even more. People say you should know your limits when it comes to career. I say keep pushing past your limits. You’ll be surprised what you’re actually capable of. Until Monday.

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